My kids asked me a million questions. ‘Where is Daddy’ …In heaven?

I was caught on an unguarded moment when my boys  (Eldest 6 y/0, Youngest 5 y/0) asked about the Daddy question. My mind goes blank and My answer… “In Heaven”.. Oh noooo… I’m sorry to the biological dad for an advance RIP… But really the so called “DAD” is nowhere  else to be found. It’s been 4 years now…. No Happy Birthdays, No Merry Christmas nor Happy new year greetings..Literally, No Hi No Hello…

My conversation with my kids last night started with an old picture of Leonardo Dicaprio hanging on the ceiling of my room at our ancestral home. (We are still on holidays so yeah!)

Me, My kids lying in bed when kid 1 asked: Mom, Who is that guy? (pointing to the old stationery mini poster hanging on the ceiling.)

Me: He is the Actor that i  like when i am still single ( out of words yeah i said “single! ) He is Leonardo Dicaprio.

Kid 1: Oh you like him when you were still young ( oh there Right term; “young”)

Me: Oh yes when I’m still young i used to like him.

Kid1: Does your mom knows about that…

Me: *laughs* of course mama knew about it. (note: MAMA – they call my mom, MAMA)

kid 1: Who is your Mama then?

Me: ehhh MAMA… Our mama.. Mama is your Lola (Grandmother)

Kid 2: …and PAPA ? ( PAPA- My dad- they call my dad, PAPA)

Me: So PAPA is your Lolo (Grandfather) My dad..

Kid 1 & 2 (in harmony) : DAD? SO HOW ABOUT OUR DAD? OUR DADDY?

ME: My mind went blank for  a second.. and i uttered.. Your DAD? “IN HEAVEN” ( Really! Unexpected question from the Leonardo picture topic)

Kid 2: In heaven? He is up there in the TREE ( Being a kid… Heaven = A high tree)

Kid 1: Mom what is Rambutan ( See the randomness while asking about the dad!)

Me: Rambutan is a fruit

Kid 2: (Continues his “Tree” statement ) He is up there in the tree eating BANANA? ( He’s talking with actions, like heaven being high as a tree^^)

ME:  I died laughing at the moment… My kids too adorable to handle ^^

To prevent them for asking more about the “Dad”.. I change the topic to “It’s late guys.. mommy is really getting sleepy, better sleep too okay”

My eldest son know about his dad though… Initially At an early age of 4 He started to asked & talked about “where is, what is a Dad” “Dad used to fight with you” “Dad and us used to eat here” and so on.. As for my youngest, I know He will ask over and over as He is more exposed to school, peers and such situations that will include the picture of “Where is Dad” by the way?

Last night I wasn’t prepared to be honest. Next time… I’ll try to rehearse  and or maybe write a script? But, Let it be….  I know… Every single mom by choice should have had anticipated this kind of questions. I am ready to discuss about it but last night was just not the right time.. How do you shift a LEONARDO question to as Your Dad is somewhere else with someone being irresponsible and immature…there and then… end of story.^__^  Just kidding, of course I am yet to give a balance response to my kids Daddy question. Maybe They will ask me again later tonight… while looking up at the ceiling and gazing on Leonardo Dicaprio.. ^__^

Sometimes | Toxic thoughts Decoded

Sometimes you just have to get back to the basics and be happy about the little things

Sometimes You Need to Keep Your Opinions To Yourself

 Sometimes You Just Have to Help Yourself! and Sometimes us SOLO MOM need to take a self time-out.

Sometimes and sometimes and more sometimes…We all just have that SOMETIMES in our everyday life. You (we) feel a little “argh le sigh”  once in awhile, We all have them whether your a solo mom or not.  The kind moment when even the things we usually enjoy seem to just be wearisome and tiring.

What to do?

Sometimes we just need to call a friend ( I just did..had a brunch with a friend awhile back) Go to a bookstore. Read some help self book. forget the guilt free in you. Maybe you may want to read a Devotional book or it would be better to just simply go out for a walk. (that i will do later) 

I recommend a book that i searched on line and might just buy a hard copy of this instead of downloading the e-book.

 -How to heal a toxic thoughts- by ‘Sandra Ingerman’


Overview

We may not realize it consciously, but negative feelings can be as toxic as physical poisons, wearing on us and causing depression, illness, and burnout. But how can we keep ourselves safe in a world too often ruled by resentment, jealousy, rage, and stress? How to Heal Toxic Thoughts provides the cure, and it lies in the ancient principle of alchemy. 
Many people think that the old alchemists were trying to turn lead into gold. But in actuality, as Sandra Ingerman–a practicing shaman and psychologist–reveals, they were metaphorically working on transforming heavy leaded consciousness into gold light consciousness. Using their theories, Ingerman offers strategies for processing the harmful thoughts and emotions that hit us throughout our day. Instead of sending and receiving lethal energy, you will learn, through meditations, visualizations, and other exercises, how to radiate positive thoughts and shield yourself from those that are destructive. Her methods of simple…but they can change you, others, and the world.

Our Little Pilot in the making

My eldest Son just graduated from preparatory Last Sunday at PICC. How time flies…i miss those days when he’s still a baby ( He’s still my baby though) I’m very thankful to Mr Bob Garon and His Daughter Vannessa Garon for putting up a school like of Golden Values School in Bel air Makati.

I just wanted to brag some more of my being a proud mommy!
Adrian also got 3 awards during their recognition day.
Achiever’s list Awardee. this is equivalent to dean’s list
Golden ring Awardee and awarded as the most perseverance

ON the other hand I think my mom deserves a special award as well, why?! Well, she’s really the one who is guiding Adrian to be the best in school!
Love you Mom Love you Adrian!

 

The Rubik’s cube of my Life…

Lately or just a few weeks ago i found myself drowned-addicted to watching Dream High 2  ( a Korean Drama)  I find myself  having a desire in solving that little damn rubiks cube! One of the character in the drama describes that when she feels like crying, she hold on to the cube and solve it….

I know there are tutorials on Youtube teaching technique on how to solve the puzzle. It’s crazy hard but honestly I find something enjoyable on solving that rubiks cube puzzle…I found peace every time i hold on to that cube! Yes believe me or not, it gave me A PEACE OF MIND.

Sure thing we all now that Life is never easy.We have to got to understand that there are no short cut in quest of Life’s perfection. No saving technique either. Like of the rubiks cube you have to turn them down, Shift the correct colors, Twist the layer again until you line up 2 adjacent colored corners and just to find out the other color is facing the wrong way. You keep on  twisting and turning becoming more confused??

It took more effort for me to live my life this way at first. Remember that we need to step back and stop When You’re Confused. I  suffered much like of Hell but i really came to understand that i could still turn my life to making a difference. A difference living a life of being a Solo Mom.The difference is more than worth it Like the colors in the rubik’s cube, even not aligned it still look as colorful as it is.